Last week I was talking on call with one of our fellows and some of the nurses. This fellow was talking about her soon-to-be husband and happened to mention a particular nickname he has for her.
Fellow: "Yeah, he calls me 'Fat Girl.'"
Me: "Excuse me ... WHAT??" (This fellow is about an inch shorter and 10 pounds lighter than me.)
Fellow: "It's just a nickname. He thinks it's funny."
Nurse: "Yeah, my husband likes to poke at the dimples in my butt and then laugh." (This nurse is one size bigger than me at most.)
Fellow: "I know he doesn't mean anything mean by it."
Me: "Wow, my husband actually told me he hopes I don't ever lose a lot of weight because he loves my curves."
Nurse: "Yeah, my husband says he's only kidding, but ..."
Having this conversation broke my heart. These two women are being belittled by their significant others in the name of humor when I can clearly see how much this name-calling hurts them. The crazy part is that both of these women are beautiful, but they are being told otherwise by the one person who is supposed to think they're beautiful no matter what!
I am blessed with a husband who compliments me all the time. Even though I've lost some muscle tone and all of my tan to residency, I've actually never felt more beautiful on a regular basis than these last almost two years. Of course I have my fat days and my ugly days, and there are times when I just want to hide under my loosest set of scrubs, but those moments are eclipsed by the overall knowledge that my husband sees me as attractive. I will never be a Catherine Zeta Jones or be able to bounce a quarter off my abs, but I do know that the one person who matters most views me as lovely.
1 comment:
Wow - that IS sad. My sister's (almost ex)-husband did the same types of things to her. It was heartbreaking to watch her be treated that way. I, like you, am so blessed to have a husband that never makes me feel anything less than gorgeous - even on the days when I know it is the least true.
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