Friday, February 29, 2008

This is why

Two days ago, I had an experience in clinic that completely reinforced why I want to be a general pediatrician. I looked at my schedule and saw many names that I didn't know (sick visits for patients of other residents), but I also saw 2 names of my own personal patients. Both of them are babies that I have followed since they were born. The first was a 1 year old well child check for a baby that I first met when he was five days old; I cannot believe how big he has gotten! He has the best parents; they both always show up for his appointments and are raising him so well.

My later appointment was with a ten month old that I have seen for all of his check-ups except one when I was working nights for a month straight. His mom identifies me as his doctor and even commented on how she liked my new haircut; that she knows me well enough to notice that I cut my hair just warms my heart. I am her baby's doctor! This poor little guy had been running a low grade temp along with tons of congestion and cough; just like everybody else, he's got a nasty virus. The FDA as well as the American Academy of Pediatrics have recently recommended against cough and cold medicine in this little guy's age; I had already warned this mommy about that at his last check-up, and she had actually listened and remembered! She told me that she brought him in Wednesday because she knew it was my day to be in clinic and she just wanted me to check him out and make sure his ears were okay. I reassured her that his ears looked great and gave her warnings on when to return to clinic or to the ER. As I left that room Wednesday, I was reminded of the incredible blessing and responsibility I have of parents entrusting their child's care to me. I hope and pray that I remain this excited throughout the rest of my career, wherever and however long it is.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Chicken soup please

Having all those toddlers coughing in my face has finally caught up to me; I am sick. At this point, I'm just calling it a cold, so I'll be taking it easy tonight and pushing fluids. I have a required workshop tomorrow from 7:30 AM until 7 PM, so I'm praying that getting caught up on sleep tonight will help me feel better and survive tomorrow. I had Friday and Saturday nights off and then worked last night, and last night's shift was so much better than the previous one about which I blogged. I didn't cry, and I even had time to go to the bathroom. :) Since I don't work tonight, I plan on doing nothing productive today and then going to bed early! It will be my reward to myself for a long but successful night in the ER.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Best gift

I have worked 12 hour night shifts in the ER for the last two nights. I don't think I've ever wanted a shift to end as much as last night's. Around 2 AM, I actually broke down crying in front of two of my fellow second years and two sweet nurses because of some horrible experiences from earlier in the evening added to my total inability to sneak away to eat anything substantial for my entire 12 hour shift (I didn't even get a bathroom break til 8 hours in). There was quite a bit of confrontation last night, most of it unnecessary, so being the total peacemaker I am, I was visibly shaken by some of the things that happened. I checked out to one of my sweetest friends this morning, and as I was getting ready to leave, she hugged me and said, "Sarah, you're a great doctor; don't forget that, and don't let anything make you question that. I love you." I got all choked up and teary again, so I left as quickly as I could so that no one would see me cry. This friend had never said that before, so hearing it at one of the moments I needed it most makes me so grateful for such a great friend. Lucky for me, Hubby got home last night, so I was at least able to get a reassuring hug from him this morning to remind me that everything will be okay.

The reasons parents bring their kids to the ER in the middle of the night absolutely astound me. Some of them are totally valid, but there have been several times over the last two nights where I enter a room, talk with the family, and think to myself, "You have waited seven plus hours for this?!?" All you future parents, please call your child's pediatrician before you take your kid to the ER for a cold (or call EMS to bring your child into the ER for a cold). Don't get mad at us when we tell you that she doesn't need antibiotics and that we have no medications to recommend for your baby. No, we are not trying to be mean, and no, we are not trying to make money by telling you not to give your child medicine that the FDA has deemed dangerous for your baby. We are just trying to keep your baby safe; if we wanted to make money, we would have chosen another specialty. Please remember that this is an emergency room. When I don't come by your room for over an hour because your child is on room air, smiling and happy, please know I am not trying to ingnore you; I have probably been in the trauma bay dealing with major badness, and trust me when I say that I would much rather not be back there!

On a different note, Hubby and I agreed ahead of time that we weren't going to make a big deal out of Valentine's Day. To me, it's a big ploy by retailers to get your to spend money. That said, I did use it as an excuse to buy him a Wii game that I had planned to get for Christmas but couldn't find in stock, and he surprised me with delivery of some beautiful pink and white tulips yesterday (my fave!). However, the best gift of all came this afternoon. The construction workers building on the empty lots immediately behind our house have been intermittently playing their music so loud that we can hear it inside the house. We have called to complain at least 3 times in the past two weeks; it's annoying to listen to the thumping bass, but when I only have nine to eleven hours at home between shifts, I need every minute of sleep that I can get. This afternoon, the workers yet again parked their truck immediately behind our fence and proceeded to blast music at the top of their speakers. Unbeknowst to Hubby who was working in the office upstairs, it woke me up, but I was so tired that I couldn't drag myself out of bed. Apparently as soon as it started, he called up someone at the front of the subdivision, but an hour and a half later, they still had not done anything about it. He tried again with the girl at the front of the subdivision, and when she basically twiddled her thumbs, he told her his plans to file a noise complaint with the police. Her response? "Yeah, that's a great idea! It will definitely make them stop." So he did, and the music magically died (I think word got out he called the police because the music stopped 10 minutes later). It truly was one of the greatest Valentine presents ever. Love is trying to ensure your sleep-deprived resident wife can get a good nap uninterrupted by someone else's music!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Decompressing

Hubby had his alarm set for 6 AM this morning, but after 2 nights in a row of dreaming about the PICU, I didn't even need his alarm to tell me it was time to get up. I'm working the night shift in the ER tonight, so I have several hours to spend here at home before going it. The weatherman is predicting a HUGE line of thunderstorms to come in right about the time I start my shift, so I'm looking foward to fun times in the ER tonight. Bad weather always bring in sick patients, so I need to put on my gameface.



This weekend we went to a love and marriage mini-retreat at our church; it was so great to learn and be reminded of the priority of our marriage. We capped the weekend off with the most delectable dinner at Del Frisco's Saturday night; I think I'm still drooling about the experience. I may gave gained five pounds from it, but it was worth it! Sunday afternoon after church, Hubby finished painting the bedroom while I kept falling asleep in the middle of the room. I still can't believe this awesome looking room belongs to us!

My sweetie had to get on a plane this morning again, and when he gets back Thursday night, I will be working all night til 7 AM. I'm not a huge Valentine's day person, but it still makes me a little sad that I won't see him until Friday. When he hugged me goodbye today, I couldn't stop the tears from leaking, and even now I'm having a hard time turning off their slow drip-drip-drip. All the emotions and messed-up sleep habits from the last two weeks are starting to catch up to me, and I just need time to clear my head. Fortunately I am not working Friday or Saturday, so I will have time to be with him for more than just a quick hug before one of us heads to bed or heads out the door.

For now I think I'll spend a little more time watching TV and relaxing this morning before I get up to work on laundry or whip up something yummy in the kitchen. I will work hard tonight, but today is for relaxing and renewing my tired heart.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Surreal

Thoughts on this week on PICU night float:
  • 3 codes in the last 3 nights
  • 3 episodes of listening to mothers scream as their child's monitor shows flat lines
  • 3 rounds of controlled chaos as the team frantically moves to save a life
  • 1 loss and 2 saves ... for now
  • 1 family irreversibly changed and 2 families waiting in limbo
  • 3 nights of me realizing just how much I hate this place and how glad I am God has placed people here who love it
  • 1 more night until I'm out of here
  • Miracles do happen
  • Every day I am alive is more proof of God's grace