Over the last few weeks, I've been going through the process of legally changing my name. I've had to prove to numerous people, businesses, and organizations that I have said the proper things in front of the proper person (namely our minister) and have filed the proper forms. Good times! One of the hardest parts about changing my name has been deciding what to keep as my middle name.
I've known for years that when I got married, I would take my husband's last name; it's always been a given in my book. What I never thought about was whether I'd use my maiden name as my middle name or whether I would keep the middle name that I've had for 24 (almost 25) years. In the end, I made the decision to drop my maiden name and keep my middle name. There were a few reasons that factored into this choice. First (and least important), I think it sounds prettier this way. I'm a very girly girl, and having my very manly last name ruined the flow (it also sounds hyphenated when you say it quickly, and that's not my bag). Second, I love my middle name. Elizabeth is my mother's name, and I've always thought it was so beautiful. I have loved having a piece of my mom's name and have always thought it was very cool to carry a piece of her with me. She is one of the most amazing ladies I have ever met, and her strength has carried me through some of the darkest times in my life. Certain choices I have made in my life have reflected my desires to pass on to my daughters some of what my mom has passed on to me; keeping this part of my name serves as an important reminder of what kind of wife, mother, and woman I want to be. Finally, I chose to drop my last name completely and adopt my husband's as a sign of our unity. I'll never stop being a part of my family, but like it says in Genesis, my husband and I are now one. We have begun our own family! I know this is certainly not true for all ladies, but I knew for myself that if I maintained my former identity, I would be holding on to my independence and would not be fully submitting myself to my husband's leadership.
Accepting my new name and my new identity is both difficult and exciting. I still catch myself using my maiden name at times (although it is happening much less frequently), but it's one of my new joys to sign my married name. Marriage is not a piece of cake; adjusting to living with someone, learning all their quirks, sharing a bed (I have always had my own!), and dealing with tough decisions together are all challenging, but it is so rewarding. I'm looking forward to seeing where God takes us over the next five years. I have no idea where that will be, but it will never be a boring ride!
Sunday, May 21, 2006
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1 comment:
Thank you! That touched me very deeply.
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