Enthralled

I don't boycott very often, but several months ago I started drastically to reduce my viewing of the E! Channel. I now reserve it for "The Soup" or an occasional 5 minutes of TV viewing that requires no usage of my brain, but I no longer spend hours at a time parked on that channel. It's now The Food Network in our household (although The Duchess has been replaced in my eyes by the mighty Queen of All Things Southern). If you don't watch TFN, I highly recommend it. Back from this rabbit trail ...

You might be asking yourselves what prompted my reduction in gossip television. After getting engaged last year, I began to sift through bridal magazines and envision how I wanted to look when I walked down the aisle. I bought the wedding dress 9 1/2 months before the wedding, so I didn't have the added pressure of squeezing into a gown, but I still recognized the importance of getting into shape. I purchased a treadmill and a new set of running shoes and went to town. While I'll never run a marathon, I am rather pleased with my progress; I no longer huff and puff after a jog down the street. I also started to cook at home again after a 3 year absence from the kitchen, dramatically decreasing our fast food intake. What does this have to do with the E! Channel? Plenty.

The E! Channel runs hours of shows on celebrity diets, celebrity bodies, celebrity mommies who have a negative body fat percentage, celebrity workout plans, etc. As I watched these shows, I began comparing myself to these women and magnifying my flaws while minimizing my good qualities. I started to have a very negative image about most of myself and would be unhappy with what I saw in the mirror despite knowing that I was healthier than I was 1 year ago. I forgot how delighted my Father is with me and worried that my future husband would find me unattractive. One day the fiance (now husband) pointed out how negative I became every time I watched these shows, and I recognized what I had to do. I didn't think it would make such a difference, but it has. Now I no longer compare myself to photographs of movie stars (which are likely air brushed anyways), and I do a much better job at accepting myself for who I am. I still try to take care of myself, but I no longer hold myself to an unrealistic goal.

Psalm 45:11 says, "The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." Many women can quote Proverbs 31:30 by heart: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." How precious these verses are! How freeing to know that God sees me as His beautiful creation and that I am lovely in His eyes! I don't have to be a size 2 to please Him. I Samuel 16:7 says, "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." True beauty is not merely external. I pray that I will spend more time making my heart like His and therefore more beautiful instead of focusing solely on the outside. The reward is immensely sweeter.