I miss ...

I miss my girlfriends. I must admit that I have often been called a loner; I don't "need" people. I like people a lot, but I'm one of those people who tends to forge a few very deep, meaningful relationships instead of many surface ones. Most of the people who truly know the real me are people with whom I rarely speak, but when we do speak, it's like no time has elapsed since we were last together. There are many days when I feel like Colonel Brandon from Sense and Sensibility ..."the sort of [wo]man every speaks well of but nobody remembers to talk to." I get along very well with 99% of the people with whom I come into contact, but there are very few times that I actually bond with someone on a very deep level. Part of that comes from my extreme dislike of the telephone. There are two people in the world with whom I can carry on a telephone conversation lasting more than 3-5 minutes: Scott and my mom. Even my sister, who is one of my very best friends, and I rarely speak on the phone for more than just a few minutes at a time; it's just not my thing unless I know you well and am super comfortable. I don't think to "call up" friends; I'm much more of the "let's go grab dinner and catch up" type. I need the face-to-face contact! The problem is that my close friends are now scattered across the country: Houston, San Antonio, North Carolina, Wichita Falls ... the list is short but important.

I miss these girls. I miss coming to them and laughing, crying, or just gabbing for hours. I miss knowing they'd accept me as I am without judgement but would still nudge me towards the right direction. I miss laughing at old jokes. I miss talking about how we had no idea where our lives were headed but couldn't wait to find out. I miss not discussing politics with one of my best friends whose political views are totally opposite mine because we'd agreed to disagree and then moved on and stayed so close. I got an email from one of my bridesmaids this week, and I welled up with tears when I read it because I felt the ache again of not having that female companionship that I took for granted back in Houston. I know that God provides all we need and will provide me with women of quality in His timing, but in the middle of intern year when I don't have the time to forge friendships since I practically live at the hospital, I just miss that. I miss having girlfriends to grab coffee with after work. I miss coming to the hospital and seeing people I'd had dinner with two nights earlier. I miss going to church on Sundays and seeing women where I knew details of what was going on in their lives; I am so rarely able to make it to church (once a month if I'm lucky) that it's difficult to feel authentically involved with the women there to the same degree which I am used to. The girls at work are great, but I haven't bonded with any of them to the same degree that I did with my med school friends.

I know there is a purpose for all of this, and I know that it is making me a stronger person. I just don't want to forget what it's like to have close relationships with women who live in the same town I do.