Slacker

It's 1:30 PM, and I'm still in my pajamas. I worked in the ER til 2:30 this morning, so I don't feel so bad about my choice of clothing at the moment especially since I'll be back in the ER at 6 tonight. I know I need to update my blog, but I have been a slacker. I don't have a really great excuse; it just seems that every time I try to put my thoughts down lately, the words don't convey the depth of the experience.

To sum up the last 2 weeks in tidbits:

• I really love my husband. We drive each other nuts sometimes, but I love that man so much!!
• My experiments in the kitchen have been exceptionally tasty recently. I've made a ton of chocolate chip cookies, one delicious pot roast (thank you, Barefoot Contessa!), several yummy spaghetti dishes with extra veggies, a yummy butter cake, two batches of java-streusel banana muffins, mango sorbet for the hubby, and a batch of vanilla bean ice cream. I've given most of the food away which is why I haven't gained 50 pounds.
• Swine flu is not my friend right now. Neither are the 300 parents crowding the ER wanting their perfectly healthy kids tested for the swine flu.
• I think we've figured out where we want to move. As soon as our house sells, we'll re-examine the area to see what houses are available, but it's nice to have an idea of where we want to end up.
• On the other hand, I really dread packing this house and finding a moving company!
• Speaking of other hands, I already bought my birthday present even though my birthday is six weeks away. Hubby is taking me to see Fiddler on the Roof when the production comes through Dallas in May. I am SO excited!! I loved that movie when I was little and can still sing all the songs from the musical.

Closing a chapter

I've been pondering this post for a few days, and I still don't know exactly where it's going to go. I just know that I need to write it even if only for myself.

Three years plus a week ago, I opened a letter that told me I had matched to a residency in Dallas. Hubby and I had done a great deal of praying over the matter and believed God wanted us in Dallas; opening the letter confirmed it. A month after opening the letter, Hubby and I said our vows and started our life together. Another month plus a week after that, we packed up our two cars and drove to Dallas. I had cried many times as we said goodbye to friends over the preceding weeks, and I cried again as we drove out of Houston. I had spent the last seventeen years in Houston or in nearby College Station, and leaving home hurt. I consoled myself by thinking that it would only be three years before we would come back, and that brought me comfort.

The next year was truly the hardest year of my life, and there are still moments when I look back at it in sheer amazement that I came through in one piece. Intern year raked me over the coals (as it tends to do to most of us), and worse still, I was separated from my beloved most of that year. I missed him and missed my friends so much that it physically hurt. I felt like I was in such a weird position of being a married woman without a husband around, so I didn't know which direction to turn to find friends up here. I felt uncomfortable hanging out with couples being the lone female, but living the single life (obviously) did not feel right either.

At the end of my intern year, we learned that my in-laws were going to be divorced. I knew God had at least one reason for us to come to Dallas, and this was surely a big one. We live only an hour from them compared to three hours from Houston, and being close by has been exceptionally important. Even with this, I know I subconsciously held on to the thought that we might return.

As the time for me to search for a job began to approach, Hubby and I began to talk through the ideas of where we thought we should be looking. We came to the conclusion that staying here in the Dallas area was the right thing for us. My parents left Houston two years before I did, and we have no more immediate family down there. We have no intentions to move to Mississippi where my parents now live, and Hubby's family all live within an hour and a half of us up here. God willing, children will come in the future, and we desire to be near family when that time comes. We had built a new house a year after moving here and were in no hurry to move again. Hubby has also done very well with his job up here, and it would not have been a wise move for him to have to change offices for the second time in three years. From my perspective, I already know the lay of the medical land (so to speak) here in Dallas compared to Houston, so there were advantages for me as well.

I have to be honest that I was and still am a little sad about not moving back to Houston. Leaving my hometown is HARD; leaving friends behind is even harder. Last weekend, one of my close friends from college got married. I miraculously had the weekend off, so Hubby and I spent the weekend in Houston. We didn't have enough time to see everyone we wanted to, but we were blessed with the chance to catch up with several old friends. I almost knocked over one of them from hugging her so hard upon seeing her! I'm hoping that in three and a half months when residency is over, I will have more opportunities to see our friends than once every three years.

Sunday morning we went back to the church where we were members before we left, the same church where we were married thirty five months earlier (to the day!). As the lights dimmed for service and the music began, I nearly lost it. I started to cry and couldn't even sing for a moment because my voice was quivering so hard. I missed Houston. I missed my friends. I missed the roads I had driven for years but was starting to forget. I missed the hole-in-the-wall restaurants where I'd spent hours eating and laughing. I missed the memories that came to mind when I'd drive by a certain coffee shop or store.

After the service, Hubbs and I went to our favorite little Greek restaurant to meet up with another set of dear friends. Since we beat them there, we had a few minutes to talk and digest everything that had happened that weekend. I confided that I'd cried during service (the bangs can hide things really well!), and he listened as I explained why. I know that we belong here and know that God has a purpose for us in Dallas; I just needed a moment to release my emotions and acknowledge that it's okay for me to miss friends and even a city.

At this point, Hubby said something profound that I'd never considered. He pointed out that coming to Dallas was probably a great thing for our marriage; since we didn't know anyone else up here, we had no other friends to lean on when we felt lonely (me when he was out of town and him when I was on call). Had we stayed in Houston, when I was gone, he would have still had all his buddies and probably would not have "needed" me as much and vice versa. Both of us are fiercely independent creatures, and learning to depend on each other and to have another person be such an integral part of our daily life is something only God could have worked.

Eventually we wrapped up lunch with our friends and began to start the long drive back to Dallas. All weekend long, we'd intermittently talked about missing Sebastian, and now that we were headed back to pick him up, I truly began to get excited. He's our little canine child, and I couldn't wait to see him! Hubbs actually felt the same way, and it turns out Sebastian did too!

An hour after picking up Sebastian, we drove through downtown Dallas. Almost immediately, the thought "we're home" crossed through my mind, and I couldn't believe it. How can two places feel like home? I still don't have the answer, but I know that I'm going to be okay. I know that I'll always hold a special place in my heart for Houston, but I know that my place now is here. I know that God has a plan for me where He has placed me, and I will rest, satisfied in the knowledge that He is good and will not let me down.

YAAAAAY!!!

I HAVE A JOB!!


I signed my contract this evening. I have a job in Plano joining a private practice; I'll be starting shortly after residency ends. Hubby and I are SO EXCITED!! God has been SO faithful through all of this. Now it's time to put our house out on the market and pray for a buyer.

Did I mention that I HAVE A JOB?

:)

Best Laid Plans

We were supposed to be landing in Dallas right about now. Instead, we're sitting in a Holiday Inn Express while the hubby watches The Dukes of Hazzard on TV and I upload pictures, blog, and listen to Babe on my laptop (it's a guilty pleasure -- I love this movie).

We just spent 5 days in Sonoma with daily trips to Napa. We obtained the start of a decent wine collection; I joked that some of the bottles we bought will be opened at our first child's graduation from high school! We had a great time and really got to reconnect during this trip. While we were there, we celebrated our one year anniversary! It's hard to believe that it's already been one year. So much has happened since then! It's been the hardest but also the best year of my life.

With this weather delay, we've had to shift plans around quite a bit already. Our original flight was to leave at 5:20 PM Wednesday. We tried to book seats on the 12:55 AM flight, but by the time we got through to the helpdesk, that flight was booked. We were then put on an 8 AM flight with a layover that put us into Dallas at 4:35 PM, and we weren't even going to be able to sit together. After getting to the hotel, I found a direct flight leaving around 11:15 AM and landing at 4:45 PM. Thankfully we were able to get 2 seats together on the direct flight! We were supposed to have our final walk at our house at 9 AM tomorrow and close at 11 AM. Now our builder is staying late so that we can have our walk after we land (hopefully around 5:30 PM), and we plan to close at 9 AM Thursday morning. If all goes well, we will rush back to the apartment to meet the movers between 12 and 2 PM. Then I go back to work on Friday and work over the weekend as well (at least no call!). At dinner tonight, the hubby reminded me that all things work together for good and that even though we can't see it now, we know God has a purpose for this.

Here are a few pictures from the trip:

The view from Silverado Winery

The courtyard at Silverado

We stayed on the second floor of this cottage.

The dessert from our anniversary dinner

Our new favorite winery -- here we received an hour long one-on-one tour for less than the price of a single tasting at some of the other vineyards. Best of all, the wine was phenomenal!

Frog's Leap, the winery that made the wine we drank the night we got engaged

True love

It's here!

We're closing on the house WAY sooner than we planned! We leave for Napa next Friday and get back on Tuesday. If everything goes as planned, we close on the house on Wednesday and move in Thursday. CRAZINESS!! The hubby and I started packing today. I forgot how much I dislike moving! It's worth it though.

Oh yeah, and we put a deposit down on a Yorkie puppy last week. He's 3 weeks old today. Last Saturday he was so little that he fit in one hand! Sebastian is on his way.

I am so exhausted. I haven't had a week off since last July. Last month I worked 19 days in a row. I cannot wait to sit on my bootie and sip some vina rosa while enjoying the fresh air in California. It's going to be such good times.

ARGH!!!!

It's 11:45 PM, and I'm still up. Why? I went to bed shortly after 10 and fell asleep around 10:30 only to be woken moments later by my neighbors stomping around. Then either a child or a woman started to cry, and 50 minutes later, this was still going on. In exasperation, I called our courtesy patrol, something I've actually (shockingly) never done before. I just didn't feel like playing the bang-on-the-ceiling-with-a-broom game tonight. Now I have less than six hours to sleep, and I'm so tired. They are still making a lot of noise though, so it's not looking promising for me to get some sleep.

I can't wait til we have a closing date. I'm ready to go sleep in a sleeping bag in the new house. I just need some sleep!!

Wow

It's becoming a reality ...

Here's the best part ... the port-o-potty in our front lawn!