I have a bad case of insomnia tonight while Hubby is curled up in bed and is snoring away. Bless his sweet heart, his allergies are really acting up, and he's also getting over a little cold. He apologized in advance before he climbed into bed because he figured he'd probably snore tonight.
Here's the thing: I am thankful for his snoring. We spent so many nights apart during the first two years of our marriage that I would rather have him snoring in my ear than be miles apart. Having to nudge him to roll over is something that I don't mind one bit; in fact, I appreciate being able to do so.
He's been back in town since August, four months longer than his project was originally scheduled to go. Even better, there's no real end in sight to this project. He'll likely be on it when I start my new job this summer.* Words truly fail me when I try to express how thankful I am that God has allowed my husband to be physically with me during this year of my life. I honestly don't think I would have made it through interviews and the decisions that followed without him here.
I'm finally getting sleepy, so now it's time to return to the most comfortable bed in the world and the sweet love of my life. Snoring or not, I'm so happy he's here.
(*Details on the job to come soon ... I'll likely sign a contract this week!)
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Apparently I'm wise ...
There have been two times in the last two weeks that I've been told I'm either very wise or very smart for stating things that seem very common sense to me. The first time, the front desk staff at an office where I was interviewing kept apologizing because the physician who was interviewing me was running fifteen minutes late. Fifteen minutes late in the middle of flu season is NOT bad at all! I made the comment that anyone who didn't understand running a little behind in the dead of winter probably doesn't belong in pediatrics. That statement got me big points.
Today I was talking with two medical students, one of whom is recently married and the other who is in a long term relationship. I mentioned that Hubby and I have a rule that we do not argue on an empty stomach, and that if either of us hasn't eaten, we postpone the "discussion" until at least part way through the meal. That rule has saved us SO many fights! Both of us can be quite cranky when we're hungry, so taking that factor out of the equation has made navigating the differences we have much easier. Both of them looked at me like I was a genius, and the male student said that he was going to talk to his girlfriend that night about implementing that rule.
Maybe I should look into Mensa.
Today I was talking with two medical students, one of whom is recently married and the other who is in a long term relationship. I mentioned that Hubby and I have a rule that we do not argue on an empty stomach, and that if either of us hasn't eaten, we postpone the "discussion" until at least part way through the meal. That rule has saved us SO many fights! Both of us can be quite cranky when we're hungry, so taking that factor out of the equation has made navigating the differences we have much easier. Both of them looked at me like I was a genius, and the male student said that he was going to talk to his girlfriend that night about implementing that rule.
Maybe I should look into Mensa.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Answered prayer
I was talking with the girls from Bible study on Monday night and telling them about recent developments in my life. As I was speaking, I realized just how rich God's blessings on me really are. I have been praying for God to take my anxiety away and to make me want what He wants for me. I think it's happened, and I'm so excited about it.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Good news
Today I got some good news. I think it's an answer to prayer, but time will soon tell. No, I'm not with child, and no, I didn't win the lottery. More details to come shortly!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Good day
I had my first interview today. I have two more scheduled within the next six days, and I'm still working on scheduling another one. Today went really well, and I am very thankful for that! I know God will guide me where I am supposed to go; now I just have to be patient to see where that is. Can I mention that I looked awesome in my suit? I caught a glance of myself in the mirror, and I couldn't believe how much I looked like a grown-up. :)
In the meantime, I do have several fun activities lined up for the next few days ... dinner with the residency applicants on Thursday, lunch with my best friend from growing up on Saturday, and a Super Bowl party on Sunday. I'm excited about all of these but especially seeing Lindsay; she's pregnant with her first child, so I'll get to see her and meet her husband for the first time.
I have so many things for which to be thankful!
In the meantime, I do have several fun activities lined up for the next few days ... dinner with the residency applicants on Thursday, lunch with my best friend from growing up on Saturday, and a Super Bowl party on Sunday. I'm excited about all of these but especially seeing Lindsay; she's pregnant with her first child, so I'll get to see her and meet her husband for the first time.
I have so many things for which to be thankful!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Growing pains
This has been a rough two days. I finish residency in less than six months, and I don't have a job yet. To my knowledge, none of us in my class who want to go into private practice do, so I don't feel too bad, but I'm still scared. When I get scared, I tend to do one of two things: go into overdrive or freeze. When it comes to finding a job, I've been frozen in my tracks. I haven't had much guidance in the process, so I have drug my feet along. Over the last twenty seven years, I've gotten really good at applications for school and for residency, but again with each of those, I had a more clear direction on where to move. Here, I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the high dive on a cloudy night, waiting to dive headfirst into the dark waters below. I don't know what lies beneath, and it frightens me.
So why have the last two days been rough? I went to a gen peds interest meeting last night and talked to former residents who are now in private practice. Seeing them with their "real" jobs made me realize how scared I am that I won't find one. I know that I can get "a" job, but I want "the" job. I went home and emailed a few contacts that I'd been dawdling over and two new contacts that I had obtained, but still my mind kept racing. I tried for a few hours to fall asleep, but I was gripped with anxiety like I haven't felt since college. Anyone who knew me then will likely remember how uptight I was, but not all of them knew that I lived with a constant knot in my stomach. Many times I couldn't even verbalize why I was so anxious, but the constant worry of things to come clouded so many of my days.
I fell asleep last night with prayers on my lips and woke early this morning to find comfort in His Word. I am not a morning person, so for me to be fully awake and functional enough to have a quiet time that early was amazing. Later today I made a cold call to a practice that I really really liked and hoped would have an opening; the fact that I could even cold call an office, let alone this one, amazed me because I hate doing any sort of asking for my own needs. To my disappointment, I was told that they would like to hire another pediatrician but just don't have the funding for it right now to help me establish my practice.
I hung up the phone, crestfallen. This practice appears to have everything I want -- great physicians, great office staff, great location, great call schedule; I began to wonder if I would ever find another practice that I liked as much as I like this one now -- or any practice at all that would take me. I texted Hubby to ask him to pray for me as I could feel myself growing anxious again, and I know my sweet Heavenly Father provided comfort for me as I drove home.
As I spent time working out, I began to realize that while I have been praying "Your will be done," my evil, selfish flesh is wishing for "MY will be done." It's my will that I join this practice, but unless God is the master of it, the entire experience will be a disaster. He has never provided anything less than the best for me, so why should I doubt Him now in this area of my life?
I'm not saying that the next few months will be easy or comfortable for me -- NOT AT ALL! I have a telephone interview with someone tomorrow, and we will have to see what opportunities come from that. God already knows where I will be in six or seven months, so until He reveals it to me, I will do my best to rest in His peace and hold on to the words of Philippians 4:6-7:
So why have the last two days been rough? I went to a gen peds interest meeting last night and talked to former residents who are now in private practice. Seeing them with their "real" jobs made me realize how scared I am that I won't find one. I know that I can get "a" job, but I want "the" job. I went home and emailed a few contacts that I'd been dawdling over and two new contacts that I had obtained, but still my mind kept racing. I tried for a few hours to fall asleep, but I was gripped with anxiety like I haven't felt since college. Anyone who knew me then will likely remember how uptight I was, but not all of them knew that I lived with a constant knot in my stomach. Many times I couldn't even verbalize why I was so anxious, but the constant worry of things to come clouded so many of my days.
I fell asleep last night with prayers on my lips and woke early this morning to find comfort in His Word. I am not a morning person, so for me to be fully awake and functional enough to have a quiet time that early was amazing. Later today I made a cold call to a practice that I really really liked and hoped would have an opening; the fact that I could even cold call an office, let alone this one, amazed me because I hate doing any sort of asking for my own needs. To my disappointment, I was told that they would like to hire another pediatrician but just don't have the funding for it right now to help me establish my practice.
I hung up the phone, crestfallen. This practice appears to have everything I want -- great physicians, great office staff, great location, great call schedule; I began to wonder if I would ever find another practice that I liked as much as I like this one now -- or any practice at all that would take me. I texted Hubby to ask him to pray for me as I could feel myself growing anxious again, and I know my sweet Heavenly Father provided comfort for me as I drove home.
As I spent time working out, I began to realize that while I have been praying "Your will be done," my evil, selfish flesh is wishing for "MY will be done." It's my will that I join this practice, but unless God is the master of it, the entire experience will be a disaster. He has never provided anything less than the best for me, so why should I doubt Him now in this area of my life?
I'm not saying that the next few months will be easy or comfortable for me -- NOT AT ALL! I have a telephone interview with someone tomorrow, and we will have to see what opportunities come from that. God already knows where I will be in six or seven months, so until He reveals it to me, I will do my best to rest in His peace and hold on to the words of Philippians 4:6-7:
6 Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.
7 And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. -- Amplified Bible
I love it!! I just got Jon Foreman's CD Limbs and Branches, and the first song on the CD speaks to me where I am now. Sometimes hearing familiar Scriptures in a new way makes them so fresh and so alive.
Heavenly Father, You always amaze me
Let Your kingdom come in my world and in my life
You give me the food I need to live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive the people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation; deliver me from the evil oneI look out the window; the birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune or out of place
I look at the meadow and stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl on her wedding daySo why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need
Chorus (3x):
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strongThe kingdom of the heavens is now advancing
Invade my heart; invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself to buy the one you've found?
Two things You told me: that You are strong and You love me
Yes, You love me(Chorus 3x)
Our God in heaven, hallowed be Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread; forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices and deliver us from these prisons
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Happy New Year
I didn't mean to let 2.5 weeks lapse between entries, but as it usually does, life got in the way. I only have 1 week left of being senior on this service, and then it's 3 months of electives in a row for me. Can't wait! Less than 180 days left of residency -- whoo hoo!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Another first
Tonight Hubby and I are going to my first Stars game! He got tickets from one of the men he works with, so as soon as he gets home, we are headed out. It will also be my first time to ride the TRE, the local commuter train that goes between Ft. Worth and Dallas. We have a station not too far from our home, so rather than drive through the thick fog blanketing our area, we're going to take the train. I had been to a few IHL games back in Houston, but this will be my first NHL. I'm excited!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Tear
I started as senior on a new service on Monday. Last night was my first overnight call; I have five more left of these occurring once every 4 days (with the exception of 5 days off for Christmas), and after 31 hours at the hospital, I'm tired. Despite all the frustrations that occurred, I had a touching experience last night that reminded me yet again why I love kids so much.
Early in the evening, I did an admission on a patient that I hadn't seen since my intern year. I remembered that this patient's mother passed away about 3 weeks prior to our initial meeting, and I knew that Granny was now the primary caretaker. I re-introduced myself to the family including my patient's younger sibling that I had not met previously, and soon the family had me cracking up laughing over how hilarious the kids are. The younger child (who I'm guessing was around age 4 or 5) wanted to be the center of attention and asked me to do an exam with my stethoscope, so since I had a few extra minutes, I complied. As I placed my stethoscope on the sibling's chest, I explained that I was listening to the heart. The sibling looked up at me with beautiful, trusting eyes, and matter-of-factly informed me, "That's where my mommy is."
A lump caught in my throat as I looked up at Granny. She smiled at both of us, and I'm pretty sure she had tears in her eyes. This sweet child exuded such innocence and love; I couldn't resist giving out a hug before I left the room!
Early in the evening, I did an admission on a patient that I hadn't seen since my intern year. I remembered that this patient's mother passed away about 3 weeks prior to our initial meeting, and I knew that Granny was now the primary caretaker. I re-introduced myself to the family including my patient's younger sibling that I had not met previously, and soon the family had me cracking up laughing over how hilarious the kids are. The younger child (who I'm guessing was around age 4 or 5) wanted to be the center of attention and asked me to do an exam with my stethoscope, so since I had a few extra minutes, I complied. As I placed my stethoscope on the sibling's chest, I explained that I was listening to the heart. The sibling looked up at me with beautiful, trusting eyes, and matter-of-factly informed me, "That's where my mommy is."
A lump caught in my throat as I looked up at Granny. She smiled at both of us, and I'm pretty sure she had tears in her eyes. This sweet child exuded such innocence and love; I couldn't resist giving out a hug before I left the room!
Monday, December 08, 2008
Electric
Last week my mother-in-law and I went Christmas shopping. Naturally our day included a stop at Bed, Bath, and Beyond (honestly, is any shopping day complete without a visit there?). One of my purchases was a small square squishy pillow that I can use both in the car and in bed.
A few nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night, and as I was repositioning the pillow, I noticed green sparks coming off my hand. I wasn't sure if I was just imagining it, so I went back to sleep. Early this morning, Sebastian woke up and started barking, so Hubby was sweet enough to free him from his kennel, allowing me to stay warm and cozy. As he climbed back into bed, I repositioned the pillow again; this time, I knew for sure I wasn't making up the green sparks! The static electricity from this pillow is amazing! I got Hubby's attention, and I'm know he saw the sparks too.
Had the room not been pitch black, I would have seen an incredulous look on his face in addition to the little sparks. I can only imagine the thoughts running through his head about how insane his wife was to be giving science lessons at 3 AM. He's so sweet to put up with my craziness. Now if I start explaining how to do medical procedures in my sleep, I'll know I'm in trouble.
A few nights ago, I woke up in the middle of the night, and as I was repositioning the pillow, I noticed green sparks coming off my hand. I wasn't sure if I was just imagining it, so I went back to sleep. Early this morning, Sebastian woke up and started barking, so Hubby was sweet enough to free him from his kennel, allowing me to stay warm and cozy. As he climbed back into bed, I repositioned the pillow again; this time, I knew for sure I wasn't making up the green sparks! The static electricity from this pillow is amazing! I got Hubby's attention, and I'm know he saw the sparks too.
Had the room not been pitch black, I would have seen an incredulous look on his face in addition to the little sparks. I can only imagine the thoughts running through his head about how insane his wife was to be giving science lessons at 3 AM. He's so sweet to put up with my craziness. Now if I start explaining how to do medical procedures in my sleep, I'll know I'm in trouble.
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